The yahrzeit is a time of remembering the dead by reciting the Kaddish, lighting a 24-hour candle, and remembering the person who has died.Thanks to GrahamForeverinMyHeart for introducing me to that. I found this interesting at My Jewish Learning:
When the year of mourning is over, mourners are expected to return to a fully normal life. "One should not grieve too much for the dead," the Shulhan Arukh, the 16th-century code of Jewish law, notes, "and whoever grieves excessively is really grieving for someone else."I understand that and the importance of making a conscious decision to end the official period of griefdom even as I am not sure if every death is quite the same. The one year rule does seem a bit wooden. I will grieve differently over parents than I will my son, won't I? At one level it seems that grief is really beginning for me now. Yet there is a sense of needing not to "get over" or "get through" but to move consciously to a new level of relationship with Zach and with my grief. Then again, I am not sure I have any idea what I am talking about!
The yahrzeit for me is taking six weeks, the six week leave my congregation has given me through the end of August. Nothing is planned really. Just taking time.
One of our favorite family vacations was to Maine in 1994. Here are the two who would conquer the world. Team Shuck.
At his memorial service Katy wrote and read this:
On the anniversary, yahrzeit, of Zach's death, Katy rode the waves at Myrtle Beach "for and with Zach" she said.