Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Mourner's Bill of Rights--Tenet Three

Here is the third tenet of the Mourner's Bill of Rights with commentary from Chelsea.
"You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions." 
~ Alan Wolfelt's third tenet of the Right of Mourners 

Oh, the rollercoaster of emotions! It is quite a ride. Have you ever felt so many emotions at such intensity? Isn't it crazy how they just creep up on you at the most random, inopportune times too? Losing someone can break you wide open letting all the myriad of emotions escape. It is amazing how you can go from happy to complete sadness in an instant. One little thing can just send you in an emotional outburst. There can be nothing more frustrating than not being in control of your emotions. The important thing to remember is that behind the tears, rage, and sadness is pure love.
No kidding, Chelsea.  Sometimes I think I should wear a sign that says, "Watch out, I bite."

I do have the right to feel these emotions.  I don't have the right to dump them on others.   I try to take care regarding that.  Anger is an especially tricky one.  Sadness is an emotion that is acceptable, but anger is more of a challenge.  You know why I am sad.  Why anger?  There is no object for the anger.   To put it another way, there are a thousand objects but none of them is the real object.

What helps is to know that whatever emotions I feel, that doesn't mean there is something wrong with me or that I should add layers of guilt on top of it.    I do get caught off guard by my reactions to things now and again.   Talking about it helps.  Writing too.  Thanks for reading!

1 comment:

  1. I often find Anger to be sublimated fear, and sometimes even sadness. If I am lucky enough to have the presence of mind to do so, it always helps to ask myself what I am afraid of whenever I find myself feeling angry.

    In any case don't worry, my friend. You're just being human.